In this post, we’ll unpack all you need to know about oneitis within the context of dating and relationships, defining exactly what it is, its evolutionary role, the dangers of it, how to overcome it and more.
What Is Oneitis?
Oneitis is a phrase often used within Red Pill communities that describes the unhealthy romantic fixation on a single person, often leading to obsessive interest.
The Evolutionary Perspective
From an evolutionary perspective, rejection by a potential mate could lead to social isolation and isolation ultimately meant death. Thus, humans evolved strong emotional responses to maintain and fixate on relationships in order to avoid the dangers of being alone.
However, in the context of modern society, this once advantageous trait can lead to detrimental mental and emotional states.
The Dangers Of Oneitis
Oneitis creates the fantasy that there is one perfect mate for each of us and as soon as the stars align and fate takes its course, we’ll know that we’re ‘intended’ for each other. It can therefore drive individuals to believe that they should spend their entire lifetimes in constant search of this “soulmate.”
While this may make for a gratifying romantic comedy plot, it is not an effective or realistic way to navigate life. In fact, it can be paralyzing. Placing someone on a pedestal means you fixate on a single individual at the expense of all other potential relationships.
How To Overcome It
There are two keys to overcoming oneitis.
The first key to overcoming oneitis is awareness. You must recognise the fixation and understand its dangers. There is no one. There are some good ones and some bad ones, but there is no one.
The second key to overcoming oneitis is developing an abundance mindset. You must recognise that for any given man, there are many women who are good enough and for any given woman, there are many men who are good enough.
The third key to overcoming oneitis is to apply Plate Theory. You must explore your options as much as possible. This will help you create an abundance mindset.
Summary (TL;DR)
Oneitis is a phrase used to describe the unhealthy romantic fixation on a single person. Humans evolved this tendency as it decreased their chances of isolation and therefore increased their ability to survive and reproduce.
By fixating on a single romantic partner, individuals blind themselves to all other potential relationships. This can lead to detrimental mental and emotional states.
There are two keys to overcoming oneitis. The first is to develop an awareness of the trait and understand its dangers. The second is to develop an abundance mindset and recognise that there are many potential partners for both men and women.